Ah, finally a native speaker volunteered to have a look at my story. I'm totally overjoyed. Hope she likes my trashy style. Force-feeding men who've never read Harry Potter with this kind of porn only delivered things like ''Umph, I've read worse, what does Slytherin mean btw?'' So I felt a little bit down, and reworked everything again on the weekend. Especially the sex-scenes. Not only that I miss all the vocabulary (I have to read much more PWP myself; pure research interest of course ;) ), but I had also described them from a very static point of view, although I could see them so clearly and sexy and fun in front of my eye.
I had a look at the little sequel I did in the train (funny feeling, writing porn with other people around ), too. I was much more satisfied with that piece of work. Writing is such a tremendously uplifting act and it happens that I giggle to myself for ten minutes after writing one nasty line. So I hope it comes over to the reader as well. At least part of it.
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optimistic
nervous